The Tale of Two Terrors: The Michael Myers Stories

	Movie Theme Songs - Halloween Theme .mp3
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(The best horror score ever. Better than Psycho, you ask? Listen and believe. Read through and allow the music to play, save the links for after so it plays uninterrupted. Links for cyber dessert. Mmm.)

"Don't you think we could refer to 'it' as 'him'?" Asks a new nurse en route to his first encounter with a patient named Michael Myers. His doctor since being brought in as a young child, Dr.Loomis replies simply, "If you say so." This moment defines Michael Myers, the boy with devil's eyes and an empty soul. Famous for hacking his sister to a gruesome death with a kitchen knife. The boy who grew up to the be the face of a franchise. With John Carpenter's classic Halloween, Michael became role model for the likes of Freddy, Jason, and Chucky. And eventually, under the direction of Rob Zombie, an inspiration for a new incarnation of Michael Myers himself.

"He's Gone Now. Gone For Good!"
Loomis proclaims after Myers escape from the asylum. But was he ever really 'there' at all? Or has he always been out of touch with humanity. In Carpenter's original film, Loomis reveals to us much about his experience with the troubled boy, but we never know him as a person. Myers is elemental. A pure force sent by the filmmaking gods to create chaos and fear. Lost in the indulgence of Rob Zombie's Halloween is the fact that Michael Myers is not a person. He is the bogeyman. A hurrcanic force of pure evil. You don't understand him. You fear him. And then you fucking run. (Don't fuck and then run, that never works out in these pictures) A common misconception is that no quality film can feature a shadow character as a primary pro/antagonist. Michael Myers, in Carpenter's film, is an exception to that theory. And he isn't the only one to have disproved it.

This kid has issues bigger than that kitchen knife.

"Michael Myers Begins"

That's what the name of Zombie's Myers' tale should be. He gives us the familiar story of Laurie Strode and the night he came home. Unlike the original, he gives a detailed backstory of the killer. While the information given is interesting it detracts from Michael's icon. I don't care what he was up to years ago. I don't want to know. The beauty of Carpenter's simplicity is that it allows the audience to draw their own conclusions, create their own nightmares, about Haddonfield, Illinois' most infamous son.

The Horror! The Horror!

Next post, REELapse will discuss the merits of the Halloween films in terms of scares. Because, after all, horror movies should be horrifying. If they don't get your girlfriend to cuddle a little closer than someone didn't do their job. These films share a story, but garner scares in different ways. Zombie's serves up well built-up scares, providing the background necessary to appreciate the jump scenes. Carpenter gives you the tools to find the horror in his film.

Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should: The Story of Tim Burton's Wonka

Tim Burton's Charlie and The Chocolate Factory held the promise of a worthwhile remake. A story deserving of a second breath with the right ingredients and a unique spin. Forums were alive with hopes Burton wouldn't hold back on the dark tone for which he is known. The first Wonka was oddly terrifying, but this one would be scary on purpose. Sadly, when finally released in 2006 the film was happy-go-lucky letdown.

Grandpa Joe Shoulda Stayed in Bed

Let's begin with the merits of Burton's re-envisioning of Charlie's tale. It's a more accurate adaptation of the book. Johnny Depp isn't all bad. Pretty colors. With that out of the way, it is a total failure to live up to the original film. One could argue that's not the point, that this is strictly a book adaptation. To you, one (or Jeff), I say that REELapse is a film blog thus that is the point here, even if not the intention of the filmmakers discussed. You have to go forward to go backward and all that. Pressing on. The new film simply reveals too much. By adding depth to elemental or fantastical characters in an effort to reinvent them, the filmmakers, in fact, killed their spirits.

Where It Went Wrong

The budgetary restrictions that made the Gene Wilder classic charming held the opposite effect for the Depp film. Burton had nearly unlimited funds. Because of this, we're overwhelmed with CGI and virtual squirrels. In addition to the "A" plot, the new film features in depth background stories for the central characters. This was not explored in the original film. Rather it spent as much time in the factory as possible. And isn't that what the golden fucking ticket was for in the first place? We don't need to know that much about these characters in that way. It's Charlie's story and, in an odd twist of fate, it is the film with his namesake that fails to focus on that. If you're still debating the merit of the films ask yourself what is more interesting:

I love children. Just not the ones that deserve to die.

A recluse madman who runs a chocolate factory fueled by odd little men, the claimed homeland of which probably doesn't exist, who offs the bad children of the world to give a better place to one worthy young person.
Or:

I'm eerie. Like, PG eerie.

A happy candyman with daddy issues passes along his fortune to a poor boy with similar daddy issues. Stupid.

The End of Our Tour

As you can probably tell, REELapse prefers the Mel Stuart original to that piece-of-shit Burton strung together a few years back. I'll end the discussion with a metaphor explaining the difference in the films. The classic is much deeper, more meaningful. While it may look simple at first glance, it is filled with rich undertones and depth. Like a Snickers. Burton's film on the other hand is shallow and flashy. Like a Hershey bar covered with sprinkles. And that's exactly what it is. Nothing more than chocolate and sprinkles.

"There's No Earthly Way of Knowing Which Direction We Are Going..."

"There's no knowing where we're going." (Let it play in the background) So says Gene Wilder in the title role of the classic Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Neither did the kids or the audience. There isn't a single honest soul who can say they saw that boat scene coming on their first viewing of the picture. It shakes the audience with a sharp unexpected turn in mood. Horrifying them. There's no way of knowing what lies ahead in Wonka's factory. Only questions. Is the grisly reaper mowing? Is Wonka mad? Is hell made of chocolate?

A Colorful Nightmare

This film is miraculous. It manages to be a family classic and a dark physiological horror film. All the sing-a-longs and candy in the world can't hide the fact that in this film Wonka allows four children to nearly kill themselves. He facilitates their near-death encounters and has little concern for their survival. In a way, he is giving the world to the kind of person he thinks deserving of it by eliminating those who aren't worthy of life. The Mike TVs and Veruca Salts of the world are better off dead. While Tim Burton is viewed as a "dark" filmmaker, Mel Stuart's take on the candyman is much deeper and far more disturbing. And those Oompa Loompas are fucking terrifying. Far more so than CGI clones.

Orange skin. Unknown origins. Led by an anti-social madman. Comforting.

Where Did This Guy Come From? 

One of the major differences in the films is mystery. Stuart tells us very little of Wonka and his little mens' origins. Burton, however, goes out of his way to tell you every detail. Rather than enhancing the character, it detracts from Wonka's charm. Part of what made Gene Wilder so appealing was the unknown. Unknown origins. Unknown intentions. Unknown sanity. By showing less, the original film is far deeper than the remake. Not to mention, Johnny Depp's portrayal was all gimmick and no gut. 

Next On Our Tour

Next post we'll dive into the differences in plot and take a closer look at the characters. Each film has nearly the exact same cast and plot, but executed in entirely different ways. Until then, refrain from fizzy lifting drinks.

REELapse Finds a Golden Ticket

The trip to Elm Street is delayed. We're going to Wonka's factory. Let the Gene Wilder v. Johnny Depp debate begin.

And it's over. Wilder 4 life. See you soon!

For God's Sake Get Out!

The "hook" of the 1979 release of The Amityville Horror was authenticity. The remake emphasizes this as well, but the glossy fashion feels forced. Less organic, really. In fact, it's the overdone feel that hampers the 2005 effort from being as, for lack of a better word, scary.

I Keep Gettin' Older. They Stay The Same Age.

Now if I we're talking about cheerleaders or co-eds this title would be followed by a resounding, "Giggidy!" Sadly I'm not. Nothing is more terrifying than children when properly used. An eerie elementary presence seeps into every facet of the original film. Children singing (pre-A Nightmare on Elm Street, mind you), giggling, and playing sounds like fun, but not if they're the tortured souls of your home's deceased occupants. While the '05 Horror visually rams the scary kid factor down your throat, the original has far more impact. The old Hitchcockian theory is true; mystery encourages fear. Thus the limited view and enhanced mood in usage of dead children (you don't hear that phrase uttered often) make the '79 picture incredibly more frightening.

I escaped a house of horrors. But I couldn't manage to escape marital vows with Barbara.

Damned Kids These Days
As was the case with the REELapse examination of Friday the 13th, the producers tend to give less credit to modern audiences. In the original, James Brolin's character's turn to darkness takes much longer. The remake is a half an hour shorter. That's 1/4 cut from the runtime. That time is crucial when your trying to suspend the audience disbelief that a house with a bad past could turn a benevolent family man into a psychotic slasher. So due to the lack of faith in modern attention spans, producers are creating more shallow films than their predecessors when it should be the other way around. Shouldn't the depth of our films increase as we learn more about the art form? Unless that depth is attributed to the studio's pockets, Hollywood doesn't think so.

One, Two, Freddy's Coming for You...

Heading to Elm Street next week for a frightful feast of flesh for hometown favorite. So get your favorite bladed glove, fedora, and tacky striped sweater ready! Those posts will be a real dream.

Long Island. Short Lives.

Welcome to Amityville. This coastal Long Island township offers lush green foliage. The only thing friendlier than the seas are the people. The Gatsby-ian dream flourishes as thriving boutiques, salons, and knick-knack shops line the endless downtown district. Many words come to mind when considering this suburban paradise.

Unfortunately for the Amityvillians, their hometown is famously connected to a less endearing word. Horror.

GET OUT!
This, is like, totally where this phrase came from! If not, it might as well have. The Amityville Horror (both 1979 and 2005) is based on a book of the same name. Based on a true story, the film follows the Lutz family as they experience severe paranormal activity in their new home. Story goes that a man killed his family just a year before. Between that and the state of the market, the Lutz's got quite the real estate discount. Throughout the course of both films, the most common thought ringing in your head will undoubtedly be, "Why don't you just get the fuck out of there?" Because then nobody will die and this is a horror flick, silly!

"You had me at hello."

HITTING 'EM WHERE IT HURTS
Yeah, it's pretty hard to shake today's youth. Blood and shadowy figures just won't cut it anymore. Bela Lugosi's haunting stare will conjure giggles before gasps. The only way to get 'em is to make the audience question itself. Like other films dealing with possession, in this particular case a house rather than a being, religion comes into play. A priest runs from the estate suggesting that god is not present in all places. Some places are too close to hell to be guarded by god. The film questions trust in parental figures as well. If we can't put our faith in a god or parents to protect us, then who? Nobody. Loneliness. Utter abandonment. And that's more terrifying than a guy in a hockey mask. Believe me, I know, I've been single for five years. (check the FB status!)

TURN BACK THE CLOCK...
Next post we'll jump back to the original picture. Expect this pattern from now on. Original - Remake, Remake - Original, Original - Remake, and so on. Next week prep for another trip in the cinematic time machine!

There's No Place Like Home...

Sometimes you just gotta go home. Such was the case for everyone's favorite hockey mask wearing undead anti-hero when Platinum Dunes rebooted Friday the 13th . In order to keep Jason "fresh" in the twilight of the original series, he was sent on tour. So after making stops in Manhattan, Hell, "X" (I'll assume that means the future), and Elm Street Mr.Voorhees returned home to Crystal Lake, NY in 2009. Awaiting him? Another batch of horny teens just dying to be taught a lesson. Ahh, there's no place like home.

The Prestige of the Crystal Lake Camp Killer
In the original films Jason was a magician of sorts. He would simply disappear and reappear at times when the plot found it appropriate. Hard to believe a 6'5" zombie could simply disappear into behind a few bitch trees. This issue in the suspension of disbelief is resolved in the new picture. Jason's secret revealed. The prestige as they call it in the magicians' circle. By showing a series of tunnels under the camp, the audience can see how Jason covers so much ground undetected. A rare glimpse into the operations of a cinema slasher.

The producers thought today's audience has a short attention spa-- Squirrel!

Wait, What? Why?
The biggest difference in the pictures from 1980 and 2009 is the story. A reflection of the film's target audience, the story had a short attention span. The entire original film followed Mrs.Voorhees in her quest for revenge. Jason was no more than a quick cameo and plot device. The reboot is inverted. Pamela Voorhee's compelling story of vengeance is compressed to a two minute prologue. This results in a shallow film. Though I don't think a film with this much pot-smoking, fucking, and gore is aiming for subtext.

Tune In Next Week
Well, Friday has passed. The fun, however, is just begining. Next week REELapse visits Amityville. It won't be all Long Island Iced Teas and yachts though as The Amityville Horror recalls the story of a haunted house driving a father to kill his beloved family. Sounds like fun, no? Be there or be possessed by the devil!